The Beginning…

I wasn’t sure what the beginning was anymore… I had a life, the typical young, but extremely happy family, I had it. Then, it was gone. I don’t mean to start a pitty party, but it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to fend for myself and start over. Just Aly and I.

The beginning was the hardest, realizing that it was just me. My almost two year old at the time, depended solely on me. I was to everything that was been done for her last week, by myself. All while managing school and work… I cried, that was my solution believe it or not. I told myself that crying made me feel better, and it did. Aly never saw it, and I hope she never does. I was twenty years old, scared as hell and alone. I couldn’t imagine what I was going to do. My family was a great help but, not really. I had to keep going; I learned to be alone. I learned to cope with the company of the one person who’s idea of me remained the same: Aly.

It took months to be okay again, to realize that I am so strong and I can do it alone. It took everything that I had in me some days, but her “i love you mommy” before bedtime made everything so worth while.

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